After reading "Fire Kasina", as well as another thread, https://www.dharmaoverground.org/discussion/-/message_boards/view_message/5639015#_19_message_5571895, I have been using clear intentions/resolutions at the beginning of sessions in ways described in the book - setting a clear intention or resolution to do something, then forgetting about it. For example, "I resolve to attain Stream Entry here and now. I will observe any related excitement or craving with equanimity", or "I resolve to clearly and precisely observe every mind state with equanimity", or "I will notice the three characteristics... " etc. etc.
I should add that yesterday after having considered the importance of the sequence discussed in "Fire Kasina", as well as how people here often seem to go on about what happens in their sits in similar terms with ñanas etc., I had resolved to observe any sequences that might occur, without reference to any maps in order to keep things objective. Interestingly enough, the pattern I described yesterday showed up. There is of course the concern that such an resolution may lead to this pattern arising, but the arising of the pattern in light of the resolution clearly highlights an avenue of further investigation. In my 30 minute evening sit, I had made a SE intention similar to the one above, and it was interesting to notice that thoughts continued to arise, often quite clear images of things, that seem to be saying, "You've got to sort this out first before you get any of that, mate." This would probably correspond to the so-called "stuff" I might have, so I just noted "seeing, seeing..."
Today
30 minutes sitting - Since recently I have mostly been allowing my mind to have a free rein and there was some doubt about whether this may have been hindering things a little, I decided I wanted to "train" a bit, as in do the basic noting exercise. However, quite soon after the beginning, it was clear that mind wanted not to be pushed around, so I kindly obliged. Don't ask me what obliged – someone or something will figure it out soon enough. I hadn't used any resolutions here, by the way (see below).
An hour and a bit sitting - This time I made a resolution to attain Stream Entry, as well as notice things with equanimity, including the 3Cs. As the sit developed, I began to pay the most attention to Suffering, choosing to use that as the main Door along with observing its Impermanence. This developed into trying to observe the entirety of all awareness and its inherent Suffering, and how it is impermanent. These are obviously conjectures based on what I have read, so I cannot yet tell from experience whether these Doors are real, i.e. these are assumptions taken as a meditation object taken to be part of the fundamental nature of reality. I wonder if I can observe the these assumptions. Why not. The choice of the Suffering Door was also due to having noticed some time ago how the unsatisfactory nature of phenomena, especially thought, seemed to be pushing thought and guiding it to stillness, such that every time a thought arose, Suffering arose concomitantly, and so slowly mind seemed to learn to move around less and less. I wonder if this might cause some serious discomfort for people without any kind of practice, but it was quite easy to remain completely objective and let the mind balance itself out of Suffering. Actually, this "technique" occurred in a fairly constricted space, one could say somewhere within the skull, with mind moving around trying to centre itself. Which was in contrast to the intention to notice awareness in its entirety. I also ended up visualising some Tibetan deities, influenced by the "Fire Kasina", although I'm not really into images, idols and icons that much.
I can't remember exactly at which point, but eventually, perhaps in waves approaching it, there arose a very deep feeling of something about to happen, things about to disappear (obviously I have read that's what happens in cessations) or open from inside, things might have got a bit darker, not sure. This is probably the nearest I have got to
expecting a cessation, but of course I don't know what they are like yet. Or not like as the case may be. Aside from these feelings and some visuals, the surface of my body began to buzz finely all over, or it could have been an image of its silhouette seen from behind, in which the outline was very fuzzy. Feelings of certainty of "This is going to be it" arose that I had not felt before, and then inevitable attempts to do or not do something about letting it happen naturally arose. I was experiencing some feelings of illness in my chest that I used to observe Suffering, and during the event here, there was a thought in the form of a voice saying "Drop it. Let go" encouraging me to release this feeling. Some doubt arose since this appeared to be physical sickness, however, which may have put me off a bit. Also the thoughts of the voice probably sidetracked things a little. I had developed a bit of a headache at one point, and maybe as a result, thoughts about reducing effort came up, and I continued to try to see what effect this might have, and then the session had to end. Sure enough, after taking off the blanket and going into the next room, I started shivering, and I am clearly a bit ill, and now in bed.
Further to intentions used in "Fire Kasina", I should also add that the subplot of meeting the Medicine Buddha was cool. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it yet.