Hi everyone,

I am a gay man, and I am very much into actualism and buddhism.

I am very interested in finding out about people of non-standard sexuality who are interested in this stuff and especially those of non-standard sexuality that have achieved spiritual attainments.

What is your sexual orientation? Gay, lesbian, bi, or straight? In other words: homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual?

Do you practice actualism or are an actualist or actually free? Do you practice buddhism or meditation or another spiritual discipline? Are you enlightened/awakened or have you achieved a path like stream-entry or 2nd path or 3rd path or arahantship? In other words, do you claim any attainments? And if so, do you think I am going to hell?

Guilherme

Ha ha, sorta gay here --- actually a "jumbled mess" is closer to the truth: I'm still looking for the sexual orientation chakra (called kamahadra-dharma in hindu), I'm sure I have an energetic block in there somewhere I'm second path, and yeah dude, I think you're going to hell

I remember my friend and roommate in college about 20 years ago running around thinking that the Rapture was going to be that day as some radical christian prophet had predicted and he was yelling, "Oh, my God, I should be praying, I should be with my family, I am going to Hell..." etc. in the way that only flaming queen could.

He was a floridly gay Southern Baptist and about as internally tormented as one could get. I had the deepest sympathy for him. He turned out well, happy, successful in his life, and the rapture didn't come, and he didn't go to hell.

So me: straight, arahat, and I don't think that you are going to hell. Glad to have you at the DhO.

Daniel

Hey there,
I work for a very openly queer company here in California. My boss is a transgender man (who was once a woman)... many of the employees are gay/lesbian/tranny. It's interesting even to hear about how the transgender community is discriminated against from within the more mainstream gay community. Lol! It seems that the human mind will pass judgement no matter what - even when we are so against being judged ourselves.

Personally, I don't claim any attainments, but being human! Wow! And, I've practiced a lot of this stuff (actualism, buddhism, and many other isms.) As a flesh and blood body, I'm pretty darn straight. That just seems to be what this body likes. But, in spirit, I'm pretty darn genderless and free.

I've gone through some trippy ass sexual stuff in meditation (disgusting weird fantasies of random people/animals that weren't very attractive and mostly just gross images, etc..) and just sorta decided to be amused by it all.

I don't really believe in a literal "hell" - like some place that exists where people burn and are tortured and stuff. But, metaphorically, I think "hell" can be an interesting idea, and I think in that sense, we all go to hell on a mostly daily basis... hell being the state of mind in which we experience our own torment. So, you probably experience hell already, but not because you're gay or bad or anything... just because humans have an uncanny ability to suffer.

By the way, the Castro district in San Francisco was practically invented for people like you. It's the most gay friendly place in the world. And, if I was going to give you some irresponsible advice... I'd say save up enough money for a one way plane ticket to San Francisco, and run away from whatever catholic mess you may be in right now. Take an adventure.

That's my take on it anyway.

- Daniel

Glad you asked. Yes, queer. No "attainments" but plenty of practice and great dedication!

I didn't take the "going to hell" query seriously (was it?)...I assumed you meant, are the folks here tolerant....

It would be great to know how many of us are here. Anyone...?

I really enjoy and benefit from the DhO but it does have a very straight-guy vibe overall--though quite tolerant. Nonetheless, there's a particular kind of isolation which even very welcoming straight friends can sometimes help to perpetuate/reinforce, even if they don't intend to. I'm sorry to say, but the dharma scene in general can be one place where I feel that type of unconscious reinforcement more than others (though that really depends on place, people, etc). Regardless, coming to terms with the particular suffering of isolation/disenfranchisement is simply part of the deal with being gay. (Daniel's story about his friend is welcome and charming! Thanks!)

Don't move to the Castro!!! It's a materialistic nightmare. And it's lame! On the other hand, speaking from current experience, SF itself is a great place to live (if you can afford it). But these days, queers are more integrated in such a wide range of cities and towns big and small. There's a place for you if your not in one of them already.

If it's queer dharma support you're interested in (and I've been on the look-out myself...tough to find), Larry Yang in Oakland is a vipassana teacher who is said (never met or heard him) to be doing good things. SF Zen Center has a queer dharma group that meets to talk about how they feel (if you're into that kind of thinkg, which I'm not). Even if Zen is not your path, SFZC is maybe the most comfortable place I've been.

Keep us posted on what's out there. I have yet to meet another gay man with a "goal-oriented" outlook....Welcome!

READ: Street Zen, The Life of Issan Dorsey. (you straight folks too, it's a fantastic book about a real life lived well with all it's bumps and screw-ups). This is a very inspiring book about an amazing guy who founded Hartford Street Zen Center (in the Castro!). He lived a very wild queer life in the fifties. I know people who knew the man personally and he was by all accounts highly attained and totally amazing, normal, present, funny, down-to-earth and a little nutty, etc.


Bruno

Hey Bruno,

Have you check out the alphabet sangha at EBMC? That's the group led by Larry Yang - http://www.eastbaymeditation.org/index.php?s=59 - and while I've not attended myself (mostly straight here;) I've attended events at EBMC and met the most varied crowd in terms of gender, sexual orientation, age and racial background. There was also a feeling of openness and inclusiveness that was very encouraging to me. I know it can be difficult to cross that bridge but occasionally it's worth it.

Also, check out Arinna Weisman - http://www.arinnaweisman.org/ - She teaches in the city quite often, I believe and was a lot of fun to listen to. Especially when she mentioned her teacher's Stream Entry and insisted that enlightenment is possible for ordinary people like us.

Eran.

Thanks Eran. Larry Yang is on my radar. Arinna Weisman, not at all. This isn't a huge issue for me, but a medium one. I've never been one to run my social life based on who was queer, etc. All the same, it's good to have friends with the same feathers around.

I am a straight man and have no attainments.

Google SFJane. Not quite sure how she defines her sexual orientation but she menitoned having had sex with men, women and various types of transgendered people. She meditated her way out of biploar disorder and schizophrenia++ with BK Frantzis` water method and is quite acomplished. She spent several years living more or less in seclusion practicing 7-8 hours a day. She has a blog and makes youtube videos and posts on thetaobums.com.

I'm gay, got stream entry. Maybe 2nd path too but I'm kind of declaring maps bankruptcy at the moment.

I like the phrase you used of "non-standard sexuality"... I think it's pretty absurd to have a standard for sexuality. I think I'd take that label for myself, if any.

I gathered that your comment about hell was half serious, and my comments were meant mostly as an encouragement to free yourself of that mythology so that you may be able to freely partake of the heretical acts of meditation and gay sex.

Also, I know it's not buddhist, but another interesting tidbit (from San Francisco too) is the Punk Monk who is an openly gay and punk Episcopal Friar: http://www.punkmonksf.com/