Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Helios 4/9/20 3:21 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed nintheye 4/9/20 6:07 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Helios 4/12/20 3:15 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed nintheye 4/12/20 3:35 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed svmonk 4/9/20 7:01 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Helios 4/12/20 3:47 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed svmonk 4/12/20 9:27 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed BrunoA 4/9/20 10:36 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed George S 4/10/20 11:01 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Tim Farrington 6/13/20 5:44 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed spatial 4/10/20 9:12 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Change A. 4/10/20 2:19 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Helios 4/12/20 2:35 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed n0nick 6/13/20 5:28 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Tim Farrington 6/13/20 6:18 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/13/20 11:52 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Tim Farrington 6/14/20 4:50 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed J C 6/13/20 1:31 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/14/20 4:49 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Ernest Michael Olmos 6/13/20 8:09 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/14/20 4:48 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Ernest Michael Olmos 6/14/20 2:42 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/15/20 12:46 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/15/20 12:47 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/15/20 12:47 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/15/20 12:48 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Ernest Michael Olmos 6/15/20 8:01 PM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/16/20 9:22 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Tim Farrington 6/18/20 2:17 AM
RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed Ernest Michael Olmos 6/21/20 12:53 PM
Helios, modified 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 3:21 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 3:21 PM

Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 4 Join Date: 3/20/20 Recent Posts
Hello everyone,

my name is Fabio, I'm 29 years old and I'm Italian. I'll try to be short as far as it is possible. I can see that many people here are familiar with kundalini related issues or spiritual crisis. I write you here in search for any help and support...of any kind. The thing is that all the symptoms I feel didn't start yesterday but 5 years ago. Well...the point is that I couldn't do nothing to solve this situation in 5 years. I tried everything, everything, everything. It looks like nothing works for me and I fell into a kind of steady depression and powerlessness. The major symptoms I have been feeling and I feel are:

1) Itching; 2) spams,3) psioriasis 4) never ceasing inflated belly and related stomach ache 5) constant pain at the base of the spine and I feel as it has been  destroyed...like having an hole 6) total sexual impotence in the very first months and mild sexual impotence now 7) very low production of sperm or even nothing some days 8) block of sexual channels (I can clearly feel it) 9) TMJ which is very very unpleasant and discouraging) 10) psychological discomort, low self-esteem, doubts about everything even about sexual orientation, fear 11) feeling alternating heat throughout the body, imagine an hair dryer....now the heat moved also to my head and sometimes makes me like a drunk man 10) headaches obviously 11) gain in weight 12) digestive issues and even disgustaing and abnormal poop 13) difficulty in social life (not  complete disaster though), hanging out and have sex with girls even though I had very few chances in the last few years because of this mess...14) rushes and tachychardia 15) cracking of articulation (more before) and especially in the neck....16) general weakness....

I tried everything...allopatic medicine, neurologist, itnernist, andrologist...nothing...my family doctor ridicously said that I just had a nervous breakdown after the university years and that's it. So I tried to resort to "unconventional means" which I was already interested in before the event started: transpersonal psycholgogy, tarot reader, vedic astrology, western astrology, family constellation, chinese medicine, ayurveda, naturopathy, bach flowers, spiritual sadhana (with endless difficulty), mantra japa as given by the vedic astrologer as a remedy... nothing seems to work. As a result, I'm totally negative and desperate. The diagnosis of kundalini related issues and awakening was given to me by one psychologist which is well immersed and familiar with this kind of phenomena...it is his job but even though he was perfect I didn't find any relief in a psychoteraphy based on simple dialogue between me and him. He gave me so many explanations that I was fully able to understand intellectually like surrender, awakening etc... but It looks like I never came to terms with it profoundly and intimately. I never accepted it. I also have been told about this phenomenon occuring within me by another spiritual awakened operator who knew nothing about me. I approached her during a sadhana and she took my hand and she gave me the answer...I just told her that I wasn't feeling good: her answer was that those were movements that were leading to kundalini awakening and that I shouldn't close in on myself.

Well, it exactly happened and I now feel as I have lost five years of my life. I have a master degree in business administration, three amazing work experiences that I was able to carry out even in this condition, proficiency in three foreign languages...everything...but I ended up working as a waiter because I'm not able anymore to function properly, to be brilliant, to be strong and healthy to find a job aligned with my studies and work experiences. 

In brief, my life is completely stuck in all areas...work, relationships, friends...I have lost many of them without any apparent reason...I noticed people distancing from me without any reason....also very close friends and this is very painful....I think I should stop here...but please if you can give any kind of concrete help...I spent lots of money to find the solution or the way out...it is so painful.I'm a young adult and I see myself wasted when I was a very enthusiast individual, in love with life and full of ideas, in love with friends and in love with the female sex. I tried to have sex (thanks to the Almighty) one month ago but it was quite a disaster...but I tried not to think about it that much....but the problem is the comparison with my "previous life".... to conclude, I can also say that I read a lot about kundalini and spirituality in the last few years, and I don't think it's matter of lack of theoretical knowledge which I humbly quite have but it's matter of doing something serious and practical to get some relief..... I also think that the major issue is on the sacral chakra but I don't really know how to work on it. Obviously, there are other things to say but I tried to summarize everything. We might try to go deeper through the discussion perhaps.

Thank you so much for your kindness
nintheye, modified 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 6:07 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 4:01 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 259 Join Date: 11/4/18 Recent Posts
What you need is not just any therapy but proper psychoanalysis. Contact these guys and ask them for help finding one, a referral... https://www.spiweb.it/ -- let me know if you're having trouble
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svmonk, modified 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 7:01 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 7:01 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 400 Join Date: 8/23/14 Recent Posts
Hi Fabio,

Nomally kundalini is triggered by a specific event, what some folks here call and A&P. Your post doesn't describe what you think triggered the kundalini. Could you maybe describe it?
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BrunoA, modified 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 10:36 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/9/20 10:36 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 13 Join Date: 1/16/20 Recent Posts
I feel you bro, what a rollercoaster you have been living. I know of other persons that have similar or WORST stories... one person I know got incapacitated by this and can't leave his bed. Various years passed and still continues there.

Ok, I'll be really honest here and I'll tell you everything that comes into my mind. I'll trust that whatever I write will not be misleading and that you are sufficiently wise to take whatever you need.

I've read a lot of stuff about kundalini before my first no-self awakening experience (A&P for the MCTB fellas ) and had remote contact with people who said were experiencing all sorts of kundalini awakened symptoms... even with some kundalini master that got involved in sexual abuse (it seems to be a requisite to approve the course 'sexual harassment' if you wanna get the master's degree on spiritual stuff lol)

I don't consider myself a kundalini awakened person, so you should tag my view as 'limited'. There are Kundalini people on internet who passed by very similar dismemberments. Maybe you are already in contact with them... be careful because there is a looooot of manipulation and nonsense about kundalini, and people who mix useful things with non-useful things just to have more power and script people to believe their interpretations and forget about their own inner authority.

We, normal earthlings, can have eventual kundalini phenomena, but in my humble understanding of the subject, one thing is to have ocasional kundalini phenomena and one very different thing is having the dragon serpent awakened, giving you a kick in the ass in infinite loop and real-time fashion.

So... remember this is just an opinion, you are an adult person and you can have your own discernment and know what's best for you.I trust you.

A mental experiment I would propose to you would be... mmmm....

First, I would invite you to be REALLY honest with yourself...

What if this IS NOT Kundalini?

What if you are just labelling this as Kundalini to feel that all this shit you are going through is having an interesting narrative? Don't you feel a little bit 'special' with this stuff? 

What if Kundalini is just another human invention, another label for stuff we don't know, and you have NO OTHER CHOICE but to live with this condition for the rest of your life?

I mean, Kundalini or not Kundalini you don't have any choice but to accept what you're going through. You can't fix it right now. What you can do is work through this acceptance... the beautiful life you "lost" & "crave" will not come back. Not any moment can be brought back, not even for no-kundalini earthlings.

Meditate about this... what if this is the best opportunity to surrender all the cravings and conditionings that would be eventually harmful for you and your dear people, with or without kundalini? What if this is WHAT YOU NEED and not WHAT YOU WANT?

-----

Another experiment...

What if this is really Kundalini?

What if you are having a divine process happening inside you, transforming you into something you don't know and you don't understand?

What are your real possiblities as a human, to get through this unique, divine and rare experience in a safe way?

If Kundalini is a divine force happening inside you, did you tried to communicate with it, in a honest and deep way? Are you giving it the DIVINE DIMENSION it may have or maybe are you just too much annoyed by how the divinity is not doing what you want it to do?

Are you acting in a way this divinity would consider wise and respectful? Are you learning anything from this about yourself and about life?

Ok, that was all my inspiration. Sorry I was just tricking you and I don't have any real solution to your problem.

Whatever... you can get through it, it will pass, as everything. But you will not be the person you think you are right now, that's impossible, even for no-kundalini earthlings.

Take care.
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 11:01 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 8:14 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 2722 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Ciao Fabio!

I'm sorry to hear about all your problems. It sounds like a nightmare you are currently living in. But the fact that you are looking for answers means IT WILL GET BETTER.

I look at Kundalini as your embodied karmic destiny. Everything that you've ever thought, felt, said and done (in this life as well as previous lives if you believe in that), as well as those around you and your environment, has left an imprint somewhere in your body (stored as some kind of muscle tension or energy pattern). All of this energetic conditinoning is kundalini and there is some kind of set of future circumstances (lifestyle choices, behaviors, practices, people etc.) which will be optimal for you in terms of this energy unblocking and finding a more natural free flow.

People who don't have much kundalini problems are either living a life which is already pointing in a similar direction to their kundalini (they are doing what they are meant to be doing with their life) or else they live life without much self-awareness and the kundalini remains firmly trapped under the surface (possibly waiting to explode at some later point in illnesss, crisis etc.) Where it gets tough is for people in the middle, who have self-awareness or a spiritual side which has awakened them to the kudalini (energy), but their current life circumstances are pointing in a different direction. This leads to all sorts of strange problems which come from resisting what is already happening within you. It's not helpful to look at it as an outside problem which is plaguing you, rather it's your own "true nature" trying to express itself and getting blocked by the current circumstances of your life. I mean circumstances here in the broadest sense, not just your job/friends/family but also your ways of thinking about yourself and the world and your relation to your emotions etc. Actually if you just could change the latter (easier said than done!) then your immediate situation might not need to change that much at all, although it could.

Please note this is just my personal opinion, coming from having experienced kundalini for most of my life (although it took me 40 years to recognize it) and it is still a work in progress for me. I don't have any training or qualification in any of this, other than my experience. In terms of practical advice, here's what I could think of.

1) Dorothy Walters. She's an American lady who had a kundalini awakening in 1981 when there was very little publicly available information about it and she figured it out and has spent 40 years working with kundalini. She may not be your cup of tea at all, but I mention her because I saw her Buddha At The Gas Pump interview and she said she works with people online for free, so she might be able to help if funds are an issue.

2) Tara and Nigel Springett. They operate an online kundalini therapy service. Tara underwent kundalini awakening and has written books about it. Nigel practiced as a psychotherapist and brings more of a therapeutic bent. He helped me to understand where the kundalini was "coming from" (past conditioning, choices and behavior) and how to get in line with there it is "going to" (different lifestyle, choices, behavior, etc.). None of it was woo-woo energy practice or chakras, it was all just basic common sense therapy really but with spiritual insight. It's not cheap, but unlike regular therapy you don't need it every week and it doesn't have to go on for years. I think I had about 10 sessions and that seemed to be enough for me. 

3) Philip St. Romain, auther of The Kundalini Process, A Christian Perspective. I have no personal experience with him, but I mention him because you are Italian and he is one of the few English speaking people I've seen talking about kudalini from a Catholic perspective, if that is at all relevant for you.
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spatial, modified 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 9:12 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 9:12 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 614 Join Date: 5/20/18 Recent Posts
Fabio Gallone:
I noticed people distancing from me without any reason....

I don't mean to make light of your situation (I've experienced some of these things, and I know how concerning they can be), but I can't resist:

Have you turned on the news lately???
Change A, modified 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 2:19 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/10/20 2:18 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 791 Join Date: 5/24/10 Recent Posts
Hello Fabio,

I can help you with this. We will have to talk about a lot of dark/taboo stuff so it is not suitable to communicate here. Let me know if you want to communicate through email or some other medium.
Helios, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 2:35 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 2:35 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 4 Join Date: 3/20/20 Recent Posts
Yes of course we can talk privately....thank you so much for your interest!!
How can I reach out to you?? Would you please send me a private message? I couldn't find the way to send you one.
Helios, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 3:15 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 3:15 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 4 Join Date: 3/20/20 Recent Posts
Thank you for your answer....however, I can't say I have personal attitudes against psychoanalisys but I'm not that sure that spending 10 or more years analyzing dreams, thoughts, events etc can be the only solution...but it can be just a temporal point view...I would like to find something "faster" in order not to bring these issues untill I'll die...anyway...I'll take it into account...thank you again
nintheye, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 3:35 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 3:35 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 259 Join Date: 11/4/18 Recent Posts
Fabio Gallone:
Thank you for your answer....however, I can't say I have personal attitudes against psychoanalisys but I'm not that sure that spending 10 or more years analyzing dreams, thoughts, events etc can be the only solution...but it can be just a temporal point view...I would like to find something "faster" in order not to bring these issues untill I'll die...anyway...I'll take it into account...thank you again
Analysis doesn't necessarily take ten years. You should give it 1-2 years with a competent analyst and see what happens. A lot of what you’re describing -- psychosomatic symptoms -- were literally what psychoanalysis was invented to treat.
Helios, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 3:47 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 3:47 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 4 Join Date: 3/20/20 Recent Posts
thank you so much for your reply....well, I do know what you were reffering to... I try to be short...before all this I was also interested in spirituality, philosophy and deep introspection. Even so, I was a normal student, living the life of the university and of the city trying to keep the pace with my studies and mundane life. However, I had a  first major crisis (nothing compared to the current one) back in 2012 when it was more related to my unsatisfactory external life...university, relationships,friends etc... thus, I had to look for more answers and I eventually was forced to look inside and to find major strenght internally...I asked for divine help and I got it...I started to search information day and night and I bumped into gnosis for instance...then, I had my first approach towards meditation and pranayama though taken lightly. I knew I needed a Guru for being more prepared and indeed not to fall into wrong practices. I read massively during that period especially about gnosis...the new gnosis of Samael Aun Weor more precisely....it was then that I first came to seriously know about semen retention, mantras etc... I thought it was a serious truth...I felt with my inner deeper self that was the truth. Thus, I started to quit masturbation with highs and lows. To be honest, I have been a great masturbator since I was 11...I don't know why but I was born with a very high sexual charge but I had to relase that charge by myself most of the time. However, in spite of this new deep interest in spirituality I still wanted to enjoy,to have girlfriends and have fun with friends at university or through travelling. I really wanted a bit of fresh air after tough years of study and financial distress because my father lost his job. Anyway, a much better period came and I was very good with myself compared to before, full of energy, enthusiast, many things happened that made me happy and confident. I was a machine of positivity. This period lasted more less untill my last year of university where I think the event that triggered my kundalini (pranotthana, spiritual crisis or whatever) occured. I met a girl during my erasmus and I fell in love for my first time. It was a kind of whirl...I liked her without the chance to put my rational mind into that...and everything was super at the beginning. Then she left me and I got really heartbroken. I was destroyed....I started to fall down into small pieces. However, I was ok with my body...I didn't have shaking nerves for instance (you know what I mean). It was after some months that I started to feel the starting sympthoms such as tiredeness for no reason and lack of libido. It was then that I started to worry about...there was something wrong. Months passed by and all the rest broke out during one afternoon during summer...it happened like some force descended on me and was doing something to me. Some may see it as positive...for me it was like getting demolished.It was hellish. It is very difficult to explain...I felt I was dying. All the rest is more or less in my original message. To summarize: I ascribe my kundalini or whatever to deep interest in spirituality or to esoterism and to the divorce I experienced as I call it.
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svmonk, modified 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 9:27 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 4/12/20 9:25 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 400 Join Date: 8/23/14 Recent Posts
Hi Fabio,

What you describe doesn't sound to me like kundalini as a result of an A&P event, it sounds more like chronic depression triggered by a failed romantic relationship. You can find lots of threads describing A&P events, including some with kundalini, here. Kundalini is typically triggered by intense spiritual practice, particular shamantha (concentration) meditation, and one manifestation is hypersexuality, not loss of libido.

However, I am no psychologist and therefore if you really feel you can't shake it, I'd suggest getting professional help. I don't know what the situation is like with respect to treatment of depression in Italy, but in the US a psychiatrist (doctor specializing in mental health) can perscribe you some anti-depressants, and if you respond to those, you won't have to spend 10 years in talk therapy. That said, they all have some side effects, some people don't respond to particular types, and a small fraction don't respond to any, so it may take a bit of trying different types of medications before you find something that works.

Good luck!
n0nick, modified 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 5:28 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 5:28 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 22 Join Date: 6/12/20 Recent Posts
Hey Fabio,

I have been undergoing Kundalini awakening for last few years. I have somewhat similar story to urs but a lot of depression and addiction and spiritual seeking before the awakening. I have been a lurker in this forum mostly and the fourm members have good intentions but full blown kundalini awakening  is not a psychological issue and its definitely not A & P though phychotherapy can help. I don't really think kundalini can be mapped in the mctb or theraveda map to be honest. You will have better luck with yogic/vedic, kaballah, gnostic or even tibetian buddhist systems. The folks at aypsite.com have a lot  of experience with kundalini. The book Kundalini Vidya by joan shivarpita harrigan does a pretty good job with mapping the kundalini process and different kind of risings you should definitely check it out. I have all your symptoms + physical changes. Like energy is operating and changing the physical body(jaws widening, teeth restructerting ) and  and as you can guess its quite painful. The thing is once a full blown kundalini transformation is underway there is really no way to reverse it.  Kundalini is purifying your physical and energy body and you feel the symptoms as movement of energy and other symptoms. Don't worry about the sexual issue it will be fine once the purification phase is over. It is an intelligent energy and it knows what it is doing and it is best surrrendered to and not trying to make it stop. I have realised from my process that suffering doesnt come from pain but resisting to pain. Hope the symptoms smoothen out for you. 
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 5:44 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 5:44 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
agnostic:
Ciao Fabio!

I'm sorry to hear about all your problems. It sounds like a nightmare you are currently living in. But the fact that you are looking for answers means IT WILL GET BETTER.

I look at Kundalini as your embodied karmic destiny. Everything that you've ever thought, felt, said and done (in this life as well as previous lives if you believe in that), as well as those around you and your environment, has left an imprint somewhere in your body (stored as some kind of muscle tension or energy pattern). All of this energetic conditinoning is kundalini and there is some kind of set of future circumstances (lifestyle choices, behaviors, practices, people etc.) which will be optimal for you in terms of this energy unblocking and finding a more natural free flow.

People who don't have much kundalini problems are either living a life which is already pointing in a similar direction to their kundalini (they are doing what they are meant to be doing with their life) or else they live life without much self-awareness and the kundalini remains firmly trapped under the surface (possibly waiting to explode at some later point in illnesss, crisis etc.) Where it gets tough is for people in the middle, who have self-awareness or a spiritual side which has awakened them to the kudalini (energy), but their current life circumstances are pointing in a different direction. This leads to all sorts of strange problems which come from resisting what is already happening within you. It's not helpful to look at it as an outside problem which is plaguing you, rather it's your own "true nature" trying to express itself and getting blocked by the current circumstances of your life. I mean circumstances here in the broadest sense, not just your job/friends/family but also your ways of thinking about yourself and the world and your relation to your emotions etc. Actually if you just could change the latter (easier said than done!) then your immediate situation might not need to change that much at all, although it could.

Please note this is just my personal opinion, coming from having experienced kundalini for most of my life (although it took me 40 years to recognize it) and it is still a work in progress for me. I don't have any training or qualification in any of this, other than my experience. In terms of practical advice, here's what I could think of.

1) Dorothy Walters. She's an American lady who had a kundalini awakening in 1981 when there was very little publicly available information about it and she figured it out and has spent 40 years working with kundalini. She may not be your cup of tea at all, but I mention her because I saw her Buddha At The Gas Pump interview and she said she works with people online for free, so she might be able to help if funds are an issue.

2) Tara and Nigel Springett. They operate an online kundalini therapy service. Tara underwent kundalini awakening and has written books about it. Nigel practiced as a psychotherapist and brings more of a therapeutic bent. He helped me to understand where the kundalini was "coming from" (past conditioning, choices and behavior) and how to get in line with there it is "going to" (different lifestyle, choices, behavior, etc.). None of it was woo-woo energy practice or chakras, it was all just basic common sense therapy really but with spiritual insight. It's not cheap, but unlike regular therapy you don't need it every week and it doesn't have to go on for years. I think I had about 10 sessions and that seemed to be enough for me. 

3) Philip St. Romain, auther of The Kundalini Process, A Christian Perspective. I have no personal experience with him, but I mention him because you are Italian and he is one of the few English speaking people I've seen talking about kudalini from a Catholic perspective, if that is at all relevant for you.
quick note, i don't think philip st. romaine is the right guy here. I could could do a number on him or not, but maybe a simple warning off will do.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 6:18 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 6:18 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Helios:
Hello everyone,

my name is Fabio, I'm 29 years old and I'm Italian. I'll try to be short as far as it is possible. I can see that many people here are familiar with kundalini related issues or spiritual crisis. I write you here in search for any help and support...of any kind. The thing is that all the symptoms I feel didn't start yesterday but 5 years ago. Well...the point is that I couldn't do nothing to solve this situation in 5 years. I tried everything, everything, everything. It looks like nothing works for me and I fell into a kind of steady depression and powerlessness. The major symptoms I have been feeling and I feel are:

1) Itching; 2) spams,3) psioriasis 4) never ceasing inflated belly and related stomach ache 5) constant pain at the base of the spine and I feel as it has been  destroyed...like having an hole 6) total sexual impotence in the very first months and mild sexual impotence now 7) very low production of sperm or even nothing some days 8) block of sexual channels (I can clearly feel it) 9) TMJ which is very very unpleasant and discouraging) 10) psychological discomort, low self-esteem, doubts about everything even about sexual orientation, fear 11) feeling alternating heat throughout the body, imagine an hair dryer....now the heat moved also to my head and sometimes makes me like a drunk man 10) headaches obviously 11) gain in weight 12) digestive issues and even disgustaing and abnormal poop 13) difficulty in social life (not  complete disaster though), hanging out and have sex with girls even though I had very few chances in the last few years because of this mess...14) rushes and tachychardia 15) cracking of articulation (more before) and especially in the neck....16) general weakness....

I tried everything...allopatic medicine, neurologist, itnernist, andrologist...nothing...my family doctor ridicously said that I just had a nervous breakdown after the university years and that's it. So I tried to resort to "unconventional means" which I was already interested in before the event started: transpersonal psycholgogy, tarot reader, vedic astrology, western astrology, family constellation, chinese medicine, ayurveda, naturopathy, bach flowers, spiritual sadhana (with endless difficulty), mantra japa as given by the vedic astrologer as a remedy... nothing seems to work. As a result, I'm totally negative and desperate. The diagnosis of kundalini related issues and awakening was given to me by one psychologist which is well immersed and familiar with this kind of phenomena...it is his job but even though he was perfect I didn't find any relief in a psychoteraphy based on simple dialogue between me and him. He gave me so many explanations that I was fully able to understand intellectually like surrender, awakening etc... but It looks like I never came to terms with it profoundly and intimately. I never accepted it. I also have been told about this phenomenon occuring within me by another spiritual awakened operator who knew nothing about me. I approached her during a sadhana and she took my hand and she gave me the answer...I just told her that I wasn't feeling good: her answer was that those were movements that were leading to kundalini awakening and that I shouldn't close in on myself.

Well, it exactly happened and I now feel as I have lost five years of my life. I have a master degree in business administration, three amazing work experiences that I was able to carry out even in this condition, proficiency in three foreign languages...everything...but I ended up working as a waiter because I'm not able anymore to function properly, to be brilliant, to be strong and healthy to find a job aligned with my studies and work experiences. 

In brief, my life is completely stuck in all areas...work, relationships, friends...I have lost many of them without any apparent reason...I noticed people distancing from me without any reason....also very close friends and this is very painful....I think I should stop here...but please if you can give any kind of concrete help...I spent lots of money to find the solution or the way out...it is so painful.I'm a young adult and I see myself wasted when I was a very enthusiast individual, in love with life and full of ideas, in love with friends and in love with the female sex. I tried to have sex (thanks to the Almighty) one month ago but it was quite a disaster...but I tried not to think about it that much....but the problem is the comparison with my "previous life".... to conclude, I can also say that I read a lot about kundalini and spirituality in the last few years, and I don't think it's matter of lack of theoretical knowledge which I humbly quite have but it's matter of doing something serious and practical to get some relief..... I also think that the major issue is on the sacral chakra but I don't really know how to work on it. Obviously, there are other things to say but I tried to summarize everything. We might try to go deeper through the discussion perhaps.

Thank you so much for your kindness
Just a quick reply at first: you're in deep doo-doo, clearly. You'll obviously be doing everything to can to address the physical symptoms medically if possible, and hopefully are in touch with someone with some psycho-therapeutic chops. But basically, you're just in way over your head in the ocean of the Goddess Shakti, and she's gonna shake you and break you and bake you until Her work is done, is my take.

It doesn't take a fucked up Kundalini to have a sexual disaster, by the way. Your previous life was obviously enviable. One of the first and foremost benefits of the dark night, John of the Cross says early and often, is humility, the knowledge of one's own limits and fundamental helplessness before most of what life throws our way, and never more than when the thrower is Chiti Kundalini Herself.

I would advise doing nothing, as slowly as possible. If you sit, sit slower; if you exercise. exercise more gently; if you work, work with your eyes more open and your ambition stilled. "God it is who is working in the soul now," John of the Cross says. "Our own efforts are useless here. S/He will accomplish the work in His/Her own time, according to Her/His own methods."

love, tim
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 11:52 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 11:52 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Hi Fabio! 

Diagnosing strangers online is a risky business, but I'm going to assume that you have ruled out other stuff first, as it seems like you have gone through a great number of examinations.

I had a tough Kundalini awakening a little more than a decade ago, with the classical lightning shooting up through my spine and exploding in my head. I couldn't even stand up, but fell to the ground when the lightning was going on. I had never heard of Kundalini at that time and only found out about it several years later when I googled all the weird health symptoms I was having an had been having sinse that period. There were a lot of weird health issues, and no doctor or psychiatrist or psychotherapist was able to do anything about it. Then I found a website that addressed all the symptoms I had, and it warned people of premature Kundalini awakening. Back then I thought that was some woo woo weird stuff but still didn't entirely dismiss it because it was the only thing so far that could explain what I was going through. A few years after that I actually found a place that offered Kundalini yoga, and since I seemed to already have all the drawbacks from it, I thought I might as well see if it would give me some benefits too. As it turned out, I loved it. It was a very healing experience. So I did that regularly for a while and also did some meditation without knowing anything about any actual methods for it. I was mainly just breathing extremely slowly. It helped, temporarily. Then I was back in the dukkha nanas* again, as I know now, and all the weird health issues came back. I had stopped practicing, and so the health issues gradually got worse and worse. Eventually I couldn't even stand up while cooking. I thought I had ME. If I walked up a staircase, I would lose my voice for a week. I had brain fog, muscle pain, rashes, digestion issues, anxiety, apathy, trembling, heartbeat issues, dizziness, confusion... Even dissociative non-epileptic seizures. I have probably forgotten some of it. 

Therapy didn't do shit for this. It helped with other issues, but not this. What helped was a solid daily meditation practice together with stabilizing hatha yoga and energizing ashtanga yoga. I'm healthy now. Oh, well, I still can't tolerate most foods, but that's fine. It's worth it. The Kundalini awakening is basically the universe getting tired of waiting for you to take your spiritual calling seriously. You should listen to it. It knows what you need to let go of. When you cooperate with it, it can guide you through your practice. It can make things change fast, if you let it. There is no need to fear it or resist it. It isn't advisable to magnify its effects in any way, of course. You need to be gentle with yourself. 

Do you have a meditation practice? If so, what is it like? What do you do? What happens? 

When I finally got around to having a systematic and daily practice, the development was amazing. It took me six months to get stream entry. Now I'm somewhere in the middle paths. My life is so much better than I could ever imagine. There is still chaos around me, but not within me.  I do not resent the Kundalini, but see it as my friend. Well, it's tough love, I guess. But all the rough symptoms are gone (unless I eat normal food; I can't digest most foods anymore and I don't think that will ever heal, as I waited far too long to listen, but I'm a great cook so I probably eat better food than most people anyway). 

As for the digestion symptoms, I can warmly recommend keeping a diary where you write down what you eat and what your symptoms are. You might want to start with an elimination diet with only the most safe foods and then very slowly and gradually add other foods to your diet after you have ruled out any symptoms from them. I would check gluten, dairy, inflammatory foods, and histamines. I have histamine intolerance, among other things, and that complicates stuff quite a lot but once you find the right diet the health improvement is unbelievable. 

I started my daily meditation practice in a very simple way. I would sit for 20 minutes, just noticing whatever was going on in my mind without trying to do anything. I also did some of Shinzen Young's stuff after watching his youtube videos. Then I found this place and Daniel Ingram's book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha which is available for free at mctb.org. That book saved my life. I have been very eclectic in my practice but I was all in. Still am. There are many different methods you could use. Just find something that seems doable, to start with. Then see if you like it. You will need to be consistent about doing your practice, so you might as well find something that you actually enjoy doing. I think it's important to set a baseline, so decide a minimal amount of time per day that you know that you will be able to go through with. You can always do more if you want to, but don't allow yourself to do less than you have promised yourself. You need to learn that you can trust your own promises. That will help you maintain faith during challenging times. If you haven't already, you will notice that your practice and wellbeing go through cycles. Some phases are more challenging than others. They won't last. You will get through it. It's good to keep a practice log. Then you can learn your own patterns. That too will help you maintain faith. Also, if you keep a public log here, you will get some valuable feedback from other practicioners. 

If shit really hits the fan and you are panicking, you might want to email Daniel Ingram and ask him for help. He helps many practicioners to go through hellish challenges, and he doesn't charge anything for it. He knows what he is doing. I think it might be a good idea to get your practice going first, though, if you haven't already. 


*) challenging phases of the cycling
J C, modified 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 1:31 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 1:31 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 644 Join Date: 4/24/13 Recent Posts
I have a question for you - did you take any prescription medication? What you describe is sometimes caused by SSRIs, the most commonly used category of antidepressants. It's a disorder of the serotonin system.

The serotonin system is intimately related to Kundalini phenomena, so it's not surprising that there would be some overlap.
Ernest Michael Olmos, modified 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 8:09 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 8:09 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 219 Join Date: 5/30/14 Recent Posts
I'll tell you what I think of kundalini based on my experience and opinion.
Hopefully, it will be useful.

You breathe, and that air goes to the muscles. It goes from your head to your feet or it can go from your feet to your head.
The air can pass through different muscles in your body, contracting them or expanding them as you breathe.

Also the breathing can contain a lot of air (hyperventilation) or very little. Even in normal breathing, you can exhale less that you get in (and that air accumulates).

Now the tricky part.

The mind, brain or whatever can "direct" air so it "accumulates" in some parts of the body (usually the head or the base of the spine).
This accumulation usually feels good at first so it is incorporated to unconcious breathing.

As time passes, this muscles get so contracted (rock solid) that air flows directly through them. This feels good because air is not "stuck" in them and your oher muscles get more oxygen.
If you breathe with your body "all rock solid" you will get a "shot of oxygen" to your head.

But that air is what makes them move, and as they don't move, they compromise posture, etc.
Also it usually follows a pattern of ziszag.
Left hip, right part of your chest, left part of your neck, right jaw, left crown.
This is because the body always tries to balance.

Also, this unconscious breathing pattern is affected by your psichological and meditation progress (the thing is not only physical, it's bi-directional).

So, what can you do?

- Be conscious when breathing, do things mindfully, do some "de-stressing" activities where you move your body (like dancing).
- Walking in open places is useful.
- Be careful with activities that involve lots of concentration.
- Be aware of your posture, even the posture when you sleep.
- If you meditate in an asymmetrical position (one leg on top of the other), try to shift the order.
- This "contracturing" pattern finishes from head to base of the spine or from base of the spine to the head (up or down).
  Most usually the problem is in the ending movementand and it usually is from base of the spine to the head.
  My guess is that while you have to work with all your muscles, you should concentrate on the endings (crown and base of the spine).
- You can usually feel the muscles that receive too much oxygen, because they shake or because they are "rock solid".
- Be careful of your diet.

Important: You want to do activities that "release" or "stretch" this "rock solid" muscles (yoga, stretching).
You want to careful with what you eat and how you "stretch" so that you don't get injured.

Also, to relax this muscles, it can be useful to direct air to the muscles that are near them and move them of shake them.
Muscles also have endings. You don't work the core (that is rock solid) but the endings. Visualization of stretching can also be useful.

Finally, it's useful to take time and put another activities or priorities on hold to know (and work with) your mind and your body.

Hope it helps.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 4:50 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/13/20 11:21 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Hi Fabio! 

Diagnosing strangers online is a risky business, but I'm going to assume that you have ruled out other stuff first, as it seems like you have gone through a great number of examinations.

I had a tough Kundalini awakening a little more than a decade ago, with the classical lightning shooting up through my spine and exploding in my head. I couldn't even stand up, but fell to the ground when the lightning was going on. I had never heard of Kundalini at that time and only found out about it several years later when I googled all the weird health symptoms I was having an had been having sinse that period. There were a lot of weird health issues, and no doctor or psychiatrist or psychotherapist was able to do anything about it. Then I found a website that addressed all the symptoms I had, and it warned people of premature Kundalini awakening. Back then I thought that was some woo woo weird stuff but still didn't entirely dismiss it because it was the only thing so far that could explain what I was going through. A few years after that I actually found a place that offered Kundalini yoga, and since I seemed to already have all the drawbacks from it, I thought I might as well see if it would give me some benefits too. As it turned out, I loved it. It was a very healing experience. So I did that regularly for a while and also did some meditation without knowing anything about any actual methods for it. I was mainly just breathing extremely slowly. It helped, temporarily. Then I was back in the dukkha nanas* again, as I know now, and all the weird health issues came back. I had stopped practicing, and so the health issues gradually got worse and worse. Eventually I couldn't even stand up while cooking. I thought I had ME. If I walked up a staircase, I would lose my voice for a week. I had brain fog, muscle pain, rashes, digestion issues, anxiety, apathy, trembling, heartbeat issues, dizziness, confusion... Even dissociative non-epileptic seizures. I have probably forgotten some of it. 

Therapy didn't do shit for this. It helped with other issues, but not this. What helped was a solid daily meditation practice together with stabilizing hatha yoga and energizing ashtanga yoga. I'm healthy now. Oh, well, I still can't tolerate most foods, but that's fine. It's worth it. The Kundalini awakening is basically the universe getting tired of waiting for you to take your spiritual calling seriously. You should listen to it. It knows what you need to let go of. When you cooperate with it, it can guide you through your practice. It can make things change fast, if you let it. There is no need to fear it or resist it. It isn't advisable to magnify its effects in any way, of course. You need to be gentle with yourself. 

Do you have a meditation practice? If so, what is it like? What do you do? What happens? 

When I finally got around to having a systematic and daily practice, the development was amazing. It took me six months to get stream entry. Now I'm somewhere in the middle paths. My life is so much better than I could ever imagine. There is still chaos around me, but not within me.  I do not resent the Kundalini, but see it as my friend. Well, it's tough love, I guess. But all the rough symptoms are gone (unless I eat normal food; I can't digest most foods anymore and I don't think that will ever heal, as I waited far too long to listen, but I'm a great cook so I probably eat better food than most people anyway). 

As for the digestion symptoms, I can warmly recommend keeping a diary where you write down what you eat and what your symptoms are. You might want to start with an elimination diet with only the most safe foods and then very slowly and gradually add other foods to your diet after you have ruled out any symptoms from them. I would check gluten, dairy, inflammatory foods, and histamines. I have histamine intolerance, among other things, and that complicates stuff quite a lot but once you find the right diet the health improvement is unbelievable. 

I started my daily meditation practice in a very simple way. I would sit for 20 minutes, just noticing whatever was going on in my mind without trying to do anything. I also did some of Shinzen Young's stuff after watching his youtube videos. Then I found this place and Daniel Ingram's book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha which is available for free at mctb.org. That book saved my life. I have been very eclectic in my practice but I was all in. Still am. There are many different methods you could use. Just find something that seems doable, to start with. Then see if you like it. You will need to be consistent about doing your practice, so you might as well find something that you actually enjoy doing. I think it's important to set a baseline, so decide a minimal amount of time per day that you know that you will be able to go through with. You can always do more if you want to, but don't allow yourself to do less than you have promised yourself. You need to learn that you can trust your own promises. That will help you maintain faith during challenging times. If you haven't already, you will notice that your practice and wellbeing go through cycles. Some phases are more challenging than others. They won't last. You will get through it. It's good to keep a practice log. Then you can learn your own patterns. That too will help you maintain faith. Also, if you keep a public log here, you will get some valuable feedback from other practicioners. 

If shit really hits the fan and you are panicking, you might want to email Daniel Ingram and ask him for help. He helps many practicioners to go through hellish challenges, and he doesn't charge anything for it. He knows what he is doing. I think it might be a good idea to get your practice going first, though, if you haven't already. 


*) challenging phases of the cycling

Fabio, 

I was hoping Linda would check in here. This is golden advice, in my 2 cents worth.

love, tim
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 4:48 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 4:48 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Ernest Michael Olmos:
I'll tell you what I think of kundalini based on my experience and opinion.
Hopefully, it will be useful.

You breathe, and that air goes to the muscles. It goes from your head to your feet or it can go from your feet to your head.
The air can pass through different muscles in your body, contracting them or expanding them as you breathe.

Also the breathing can contain a lot of air (hyperventilation) or very little. Even in normal breathing, you can exhale less that you get in (and that air accumulates).

Now the tricky part.

The mind, brain or whatever can "direct" air so it "accumulates" in some parts of the body (usually the head or the base of the spine).
This accumulation usually feels good at first so it is incorporated to unconcious breathing.

As time passes, this muscles get so contracted (rock solid) that air flows directly through them. This feels good because air is not "stuck" in them and your oher muscles get more oxygen.
If you breathe with your body "all rock solid" you will get a "shot of oxygen" to your head.

But that air is what makes them move, and as they don't move, they compromise posture, etc.
Also it usually follows a pattern of ziszag.
Left hip, right part of your chest, left part of your neck, right jaw, left crown.
This is because the body always tries to balance.

Also, this unconscious breathing pattern is affected by your psichological and meditation progress (the thing is not only physical, it's bi-directional).

So, what can you do?

- Be conscious when breathing, do things mindfully, do some "de-stressing" activities where you move your body (like dancing).
- Walking in open places is useful.
- Be careful with activities that involve lots of concentration.
- Be aware of your posture, even the posture when you sleep.
- If you meditate in an asymmetrical position (one leg on top of the other), try to shift the order.
- This "contracturing" pattern finishes from head to base of the spine or from base of the spine to the head (up or down).
  Most usually the problem is in the ending movementand and it usually is from base of the spine to the head.
  My guess is that while you have to work with all your muscles, you should concentrate on the endings (crown and base of the spine).
- You can usually feel the muscles that receive too much oxygen, because they shake or because they are "rock solid".
- Be careful of your diet.

Important: You want to do activities that "release" or "stretch" this "rock solid" muscles (yoga, stretching).
You want to careful with what you eat and how you "stretch" so that you don't get injured.

Also, to relax this muscles, it can be useful to direct air to the muscles that are near them and move them of shake them.
Muscles also have endings. You don't work the core (that is rock solid) but the endings. Visualization of stretching can also be useful.

Finally, it's useful to take time and put another activities or priorities on hold to know (and work with) your mind and your body.

Hope it helps.

Interesting! I have never heard of this theory before. Wow. I sense that you are on to something. That's a new piece of the jigsaw puzzle for me. I knew that the breathing was related but I didn't tie it all together like this. That's why yoga helps: you just can't do yoga if the breathing is unbalanced. It shows immediately. You just have to learn to relax muscles that are usually contracted and you have to breath into muscles that don't get enough air. This is also why it was an extremely bad idea for me to attend an energy orgasm workshop last spring. I fell to the ground from it and had a severe headache afterwards. Of course. I was already too contracted. There was too much pressure to my head, which I knew. Those breathing techniques are designed to shoot up energy to the head, just like some Kundalini yoga breathing techniques that I also need to be careful with, or needed to be careful with. That's actually very rarely the case anymore.

I think that there are interesting connections between breath, energy, intention, and attention. 

I also think that there's an interesting overlap between what you are saying and ideas about premature Kundalini awakening, that is, sending large amounts of energy up to higher chakras while the lower ones are still closed and the energy channels all entangled.
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 4:49 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 4:49 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
J C:

The serotonin system is intimately related to Kundalini phenomena, so it's not surprising that there would be some overlap.

Could you elaborate on this? It sounds interesting.
Ernest Michael Olmos, modified 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 2:42 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/14/20 2:42 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 219 Join Date: 5/30/14 Recent Posts
My experience is this (I wrote it somewhere). I did a 10 day home retreat with lots of meditation and very low fat foods.
At some point the muscles in the back of my head and my spine got "rigid", and air started flowing through the back of my spine.

I kept meditating, but at some point I started having problems to sleep and feeling light-headed.
The most amazing thing was that I didn't need to breathe. There was no muscle movement (really!!). And somehow air kept coming and accumulating.

It was amazing until I realized that I couldn't stop it, and that it was really problematic when I went to sleep.
Unconscious breathing when sleeping added to this unconscious "no movement" breathing resulting in too much air.

I got really worried, stopped meditating (concentration, stillness was off the charts but obviously it added to the problem), ate fatty foods, and whatever pattern was created began dissolving.
I would recommend to be REALLY CAREFUL and not to underestimate this thing.

I did a Goenka retreat last year and day 9-10 it kind of started again (this unconscious shallow breathing).

There is a knot in the back of my head that when I stretch it, I keep seeing "lights" like in AP.
There is also the movement of muscles in my head when I "move" my attention from the front to the back. At some moments I have lots of pressure in some muscle between my eyes, on top of them.
I ad some experience of relaxing this muscle.

This is my experience and I'm working on it.
There are a lot of connections about the body, muscles, breathing, foods, energies, chakras, yoga, powers, jhanas, nanas, fruition, paths and lifestyle (morality).

Anyway, what I'm doing seems to be working very well (for me), but even then it's related to other things that people are sensitive.

It also takes time and consistency if you don't want to get injured and people always want a quick fix.
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:46 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:46 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
I’d like to reply to Ernest’s post (hoping that it will be helpful to Helios/Fabio rather than seen as a digression), but the current technical bug prohibits me from publishing the whole chunk of text. Therefore I’m breaking it up into several ridiculously short posts. Sorry for any inconvenience for the readers.

Thankyou for sharing, Ernest!

I have had the opposite of that happening: having trouble staying awake from sleep and never getting enough air. Actually, I think I may have had every combination of energy imbalance that is possible.
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:47 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:47 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Cont.

I definitely agree that there are no quick fixes. I believe that those of us who meet the criteria of (1) being sensitive to any kind of turbulence, and (2) somehow having lots of whatever it is that tends to go frantic when turbulence appears, simply need to come to acceptance with that and commit to a lifelong regime of listening in, unless that changes when full awakening happens (I wouldn't know as I'm still on the path). I tend to deal better with turbulence nowadays, I think, and I'm hoping that this development will continue. There certainly is no lack of opportunities for practice.
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:47 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:47 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Cont.

I have recently taken an interest to different approaches to working with the elements. You seem knowledgeable about lots of complex connections, so you have probably looked into that? It seems pretty obvious that grounding techniques, working with the earth element, is what has been most helpful for you.
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:48 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 12:48 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Cont.

I think it is important to listen when one's whole organism is screaming that something is wrong. I don't necessarily think fearing the Kundalini is a constructive approach, though. It is merely the messenger. Not even that. It's the language of the message, sort of. It sure can be one hell of a messed up conversation, though, unless one finds a way to learn the language - or develop it. I mean, crying is the only means for a newborn infant to communicate anything, but symbolic means are added along the way as the person grows up. There are still plenty of opportunities to mess up the communication, but at least finetuned attempts at intersubjectivity and playful creativity of varying degrees of subtlety and sophistication become possible along the way.
Ernest Michael Olmos, modified 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 8:01 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/15/20 8:01 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 219 Join Date: 5/30/14 Recent Posts
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Cont.

I think it is important to listen when one's whole organism is screaming that something is wrong. I don't necessarily think fearing the Kundalini is a constructive approach, though. It is merely the messenger. Not even that. It's the language of the message, sort of. It sure can be one hell of a messed up conversation, though, unless one finds a way to learn the language - or develop it. I mean, crying is the only means for a newborn infant to communicate anything, but symbolic means are added along the way as the person grows up. There are still plenty of opportunities to mess up the communication, but at least finetuned attempts at intersubjectivity and playful creativity of varying degrees of subtlety and sophistication become possible along the way.
I've always had mild kundalini symptoms. This experience was not like that.

My spine was so rigid and straight that muscles clenched together in a way that can't be good. Rational thinking tended to evaporate and it felt like a was on drugs, like crazy.
I couldn't sleep for more than 10 minutes that the pressure in the head woke me up and I had to concentrate to relax the breathing or breathe very slowly because....something was already breathing. And I think that if I slept a vein could burst from all the pressure from this "double breathing".

The worst was that there was no way of stopping it, and as I kept meditating it was getting worse. Most things you do don't work (and I tried a lot). I really didn't want to stop meditating, but it was the only thing that worked (fatty food helped too, but not that much). Most grounding exercises helped also, but very little.
Muscles kept getting tighter, pressing nerves, sending lightnings through the spine, air accumulating.

Anyway, I can't describe with words accurately how it felt (I had a discussion in other post about how futile it is to describe with words experiences).

I don't think it should be feared, but again, at least for me, there is mild kundalini and strong kundalini. Mild kundalini (at least for me) is beneficial and causes little problems.

Strong kundalini should be treated carefully.
The same way that you can get injured if you lift too much weight in a gym.

My experience anyway.
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Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 3 Years ago at 6/16/20 9:22 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/16/20 9:22 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 7134 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Yeah, it definitely sounds like the right call to stop meditating at that point. I'm glad you were able to come out from it.
Tim Farrington, modified 3 Years ago at 6/18/20 2:17 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/18/20 2:17 AM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 2464 Join Date: 6/13/11 Recent Posts
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Yeah, it definitely sounds like the right call to stop meditating at that point. I'm glad you were able to come out from it.

Don't know much about history,
don't know much biology---

don't know much about the shakti's hooks,
don't know nuthin from all them books---

but i do know that She will do
and I know that She is loving true---

oh that wonderful Kun-da-li-ni

(to the tune of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4GLAKEjU4w&list=PLOSNsaNaWuNATfp6LiaNGbRgkbcTxxUES   )

love, tim
Ernest Michael Olmos, modified 3 Years ago at 6/21/20 12:53 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 6/21/20 12:53 PM

RE: Desperation and Kundalini - any help is welcomed

Posts: 219 Join Date: 5/30/14 Recent Posts
I know it doesn't sound like breathing or air accumulation in muscles, or concentration can be dangerous.

But if you look at the tires in a car, you can see compressed air supporting a ton vehicle. You can feel that how rigid it is. You can imagine a tire exploding.

Like I said, I'm don't want to scare anyone and for the record, I think that my experience was beneficial.
I learned a lot about how my body and mind work.

This thing arises out of concentration and stillness, so lots of moving without thinking, without having a repetitive pattern should help.
Breathing is a repetitive pattern and strong concentration somehow "get" into this pattern in a way that is not usual.
Even more, as muscles get too tight, blood flow changes.

Anyway, in any case, I'm grateful for all that kundalini, concentration, meditation, etc has given me.
I think that if you don't experience kundalini, you can have the opposite problem (too little air).

If you don't meditate, you don't have meditation problems, but you face "non meditation" problems.

The thing is, you "learn big" from limit situations.

If you get injured, you learn a lot about acceptance, about what to do how not to get injured again, your limits, about how your body and mind work, etc. But all that is very personal and it doesn't apply in the same way to a person who hasn't been injured.
It is difficult to share that knowledge in a way that matters.
You can't have that knowledge on pain without experiencing yourself.

Descriptions about pain, about what to get, or to avoid, about others experiences in their lives can help (and they usually do).
But they are very different from personal experience.

I have a very comprehensive theory about chakras, energies, kundalini, concentration, nanas, fruition, paths, etc, but right now it's only personal experience. It would be nearly impossible to put it into words.
And even then, I'm not sure it would be helpful to share it.

But I'll say something (most people here won't like it emoticon).

MOST OF THE TIME, MEDITATION IS VERY BENEFICIAL.
HOWEVER, SOMETIMES ITS ALSO VERY BENEFICIAL TO STOP MEDITATING. TO STOP ACTIVITY IN ANY THREE TRAININGS (MORALITY, CONCENTRATION, WISDOM).

The same way that you stop between series at the gym or that you don't keep training an injured part of the body.
Or that you don't add too much weight to what you are lifting.
Or that you change the routine that you are doing (to train other muscles so the body is balanced).

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