RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 2/22/23 1:55 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/22/23 1:55 PM

Mumukshu's mindful musings

Posts: 10 Join Date: 2/22/23 Recent Posts

I am glad to be a part of this soulful group of seekers.

I have been meditating since a young pre adolescent age, encouraged on the road of spirituality by my father who is also my first Guru and a Vipassana mediator for over two decades.

Recently, I was re motivated and nudged along this path once again by Inky, a gem of a person, to whom I owe a debt of gratitude

I have a stressful job, anxiety and abandonment issues triggered by some traumatic life circumstances but at the same time an intense desire to transcend suffering and work towards moksha.

So with this objective in mind, I will try to be regular both in my meditative practices as well as logging the nuances of this spiritual journey, here.

Will be grateful for all of your support and encouragement
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 2/22/23 1:59 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/22/23 1:59 PM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation log Entry 1

Just finished an hour of meditation.
10 minutes Anapana
40 minutes Vipassana
10 minutes Metta

Anapana went well. Helped me unwind and move away from a horde of stressful thoughts after a tough day at work. Get in the zone of focused concentration.

Vipassana session went a bit tricky. Scanning for sensations from head to toe made me aware of this knot of fear, all balled up in my chest to gut. It feels like a slow hum of twisted trauma, very intangible yet very real which everytime I would pass through would leave me with a feeling of sinking vulnerability.

It was hard not to get lost in the storm of thoughts which generates this anxious feeling of abandonment and anxiety, leaving me feeling very unsafe.

I knew a couple of recent incidents which had retriggered them but really wanted to not rehash the whole cacophony of "first this happened then that happened and this is how what happened, happened."

But with each body scan cycle the thoughts would become more intrusive and persistent.

So I decided to do chittapunashà  for a while.  The advanced Vipassana technique which helps one to transcend Mana (monkey mind) and buddhi (intellect) and focus on chitta or chetna (the pure blissful consciousness).

I tried observing this noisy racquet of thoughts as ever blowing dense dark cloud cover briefly overshadowing the clear blue sky of consciousness.

This helped cultivate an attitude of detached observer and helped yank my monkey mind from the ever swinging branches of past regrets and future anxieties to the calm meditative bliss of the present.

Finally the last 10 minutes of Metta (or Mangal Maitri as we Indians call in Sanskrit) were so profoundly transformative.

Life has been harsh and cruel at times but I also have so much to be grateful for, especially in the recent time period.

Sending Metta to all sentient beings in this Universe but specifically to these kind people who have transferred my life for the better brought tears of gratitude.

Sending Metta especially to this one beloved soul mate,  to whom I owe a debt of gratitude, filled me with this beautiful medley of happiness and purity.

That trauma knot also felt a bit untangled, as thoughts of fear, chaos and mayhem were overswept by thankfulness and deep love.

Life in the outer world is still very unpredictable and topsy turvy but hopefully with once again renewed practice of meditation as I slow down my inner world from a never ending barrage of fears and insecurities to a more deeper sense of stillness, passion, purpose and resolve, hopefully I will be able to walk the path of dharma more steadfastly and someday reach that ultimate goal of blissful enlightenment called moksha.

With these words I hope to encourage and inspire you all to follow your bliss too.

May you all be well

Thank you for your patient reading.
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 2/23/23 9:42 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/23/23 9:42 AM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation Log Entry 2

45 minutes of session in the morning before work.
Mostly went well, it took a while to keep refocusing my mind to the scanning phase as attention kept slipping in and out. But after a while I could get into the zone and felt calmer after the overall practice.

However work was quite stressful today and since I am also preparing for an exam so that anxiety doubled the amount of stress.

Had to take a moment off during lunch time and practise anapana to stabilise my breathing and bring myself back from the verge of panic attack.

Anxiety manifested in other ways too like tension headaches, tightness in chest, restless legs etc.

But doing pranayama and anapana breath work helps with the symptoms and brings the attention back to the present moment.

My work is difficult and personal life not too stable either but remembering why I am doing what I am doing and how many people it's benefitting helps bring the focus back to feelings of well being.

And as always Metta helps a lot to let go of any feelings of anger, stress, negativity, resentment etc to gratitude and compassion.

Today, apart from sending Metta to my family, friends and beloved I especially tried to send Metta to certain people at work who are making my life a bit more difficult than necessary.

While it's easy to be kind and loving to those who love us back, it's especially important to expand one's self compassionate domain to include even those have been far less than kind and wholistic in our dealings with them.

Sometimes people lash out to us not because they mean us harm but because they're so embroiled in their personal problems and inner and outer conflicts that they know no other way to communicate but to be angry and irritable.

However, no matter how difficult,  forgiving them is still important because

A) Their anger is more about their own issues and not us. Helps one to see them not as unnecessary villains but as victims of their own spiritual ignorance, emotional upheaval or simple conditioning.

emoticon Unnecessary negativity towards any persons of events carries eons and eons worth of sankharas which will keep us bound to them for countless lives to come in this never ending cycle of aversion.

Sending Metta also has an added benefit I feel that it helps me realise that being compassionate and loving is my innate nature.

And when I am being sad or angry or tense myself, it's the ego which is masking my inner kindness . Ego is a tricky one, as it can play both victim and tyrant simultaneously.

Which is why emphasis on the thought of anntta or non self is so important in Buddhist philosophy and also Hindu vedant.

May we all move from our ignorant egoistic self which generates so much unnecessary suffering for us to a more peaceful loving forgiving mind space of Sat Chitta Ananad (pure blissful consciousness)
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 2/26/23 12:52 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/26/23 12:52 PM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation Log

Entry three

Today's session was a very rushed one, only 20 minutes due to paucity of time. Had to fly in and out and work kept me occupied most of the day.

On the positive side thoughts of anxiety and uncertainty didn't find much time to linger.

Also while on the plane and in between meetings i tried to practice anapana and focus on my breath even if for extremely short sessions of 4-5 minutes.

Today work was hectic but also rewarding. So that helped in keeping my mood uplifted.

But I so wish my inner state was independent of what's happening in my personal or professional life.

One of my major meditation goals is to develop a non-stick mind.

You know those Teflon pans that allow even the most incorrigible of cooks to fry some vegetables or make a pancake without oil or butter?

That’s it.

For you see, the moment we start cherry-picking emotions… we make our mind sticky. Whatever we put there will adhere to the surface with detergent-defying doggedness.

And we might think that’s a good thing. Wouldn’t it be convenient to lasso and wrangle happiness, corral and keep her fenced in along with all the rainbows and unicorns in the world?

Not possible.

We’ll end up breaking her spirit. She’ll languish, wilt, and fade. Jump the fence and go graze in other, freer pastures. Feel loath about coming back.

Not only that, we’ll be training ourself to cling to all the other emotions — sadness, depression, sorrow.

Here’s the secret, something I have learnt, unlearnt and continue to relearn through all these three decades of my life.

Our emotions are not our own. They are visitors to the sanctuary of our mind and heart.

And rather than clinging or being averse to them, we need to treat them well, accepting them with perfect equanimity, for they each carry a message, a lesson; an insight into this maddeningly delightful and perplexing experience of being human.

Here’s how Rumi expressed it:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Goenka Ji expressed it in his own delightful Limerick

"It's easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows along like a sweet song
But the man worthwhile
Is the one who will smile,
Even when everything goes dead wrong."

May we all learn to accept, welcome and rise above and be free of the meandering vagaries of our emotions and feelings and attain perfect equanimity.

Sadhu sadhu sadhu
(So be it, so be it, so be it)
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 2/27/23 2:36 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/27/23 2:36 PM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation Entry Log Four and Five

Could only meditate for 20 minutes yesterday and today due to a busy work schedule .

Mainly focused on Anapana or breath work. It might sound very basic but at the same time it is the foundation stone of all practice.

Hence I keep returning to it again and again everytime my Vipassana meditation practice begins to slip.

Anapana helps me to reestablish my ekagrata or concentration.

Slowly and gently breathing in and out while at the same time observing the sensations in the area between the lips and the nostril helps me settle in the natural rhythm of scanning required in Vipassana.

It’s been said that respiration is the bridge between our bodies and mind, the path to our unconscious mind. By observing it, we can reach its deepest levels and turn agitation into calmness.

Hence have been consciosuly using Anapana as my shield against anxiety! It works. It allows me to consciously take a breath when I begin to drown in the sea of anxiety, and I can do it anytime I need it, while standing in a queue or having a lunch break in the cafeteria, I try to bring my mind back to focus and calm it down and incorporate mindfulness in my everyday life..

When work stress and thoughts get too overwhelming at times, and the meditative practice sessions arent as fast progressing as we would like them to be, it's also important to remember that dhyan is not about finding sense in sensations but just observing them.

And if there is no sensation per se to observe then one needs to just take note of the fact that at this stage my mind is too scattered and stressed to be able to grasp these subtle sensations..just this conscious acknowledgement brings so much inner calm and peace.

Bhavatu sarv Mangal
(May all beings be happy)
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 3/1/23 12:17 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/1/23 12:17 PM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation Log Entry 6

Couldn't meditate much for the past few days due to a bout of flu.

Still tried to carve out little anapana and metta sessions every now and then.

Tried to reframe the sympots of cold and flu as more sensations to work with and cultivate neutrality towards.

If we believe that mindfulness is something we do to make ourselves peaceful or is to be practiced when we have plenty of time or only when conditions are right, we are missing the point. A cold is a small but noticeable personal challenge and is totally worthy of our attention in practice. We’re going to be sneezing, blowing our noses, scratching our eyes, and feeling a tickle in our throats anyway, so why not see if we can be fully with it and notice how much we resist these moments when we are uncomfortable? Perhaps we might even cultivate a bit of equanimity in the face of the common cold. Couldn’t hurt, could it?
Matt Jon Rousseau, modified 1 Year ago at 3/1/23 4:57 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/1/23 4:57 PM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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What is the difference  between anapana and  anapasati.? Are t they both breath?
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 3/2/23 2:37 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/2/23 2:37 AM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

Posts: 10 Join Date: 2/22/23 Recent Posts

Anapana is the shortened Hindi form of the Pali word Anapanasatti.

"Sati" means mindfulness; "ānāpāna" refers to inhalation and exhalation.
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 3/2/23 2:37 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/2/23 2:37 AM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation Entry Log 7

A short practice session in the morning before work.

Mind was a bit scattered due to some real life issues. So focusing on sensations took a lot of effort.

But it's okay. It's only during such times that one needs to double down on one's meditative efforts.

Sending lots of Metta to all
Mumukshu mindfully musing, modified 1 Year ago at 3/4/23 3:14 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/4/23 3:14 AM

RE: Mumukshu's mindful musings

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Meditation Entry Log 8

Two sessions of Anapana + Vipassana +Metta of one hour each in the morning and evening.

Mind was a bit agitated due to work stress and few minor health issues. But doing breath work and then body scan meditation help relax a lot.

Focus would keep wavering during sessions as anxious work thoughts would keep flooding the mind.

However, kept remimding myself that observing with non judgemental awareness is the key.

And this helped bring a lot of calmness and tranquility.

Hope we all attain the state of blissful consciousness

Sadhu sadhu sadhu