smiling stone's log (2021)

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Smiling Stone, modified 1 Month ago.

smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 211 Join Date: 5/10/16 Recent Posts
15/03/2021

Hello everybody, long time no see...
These last months, I've been maintaining a daily evening practice, focusing on some breathwork with retention (a la Wim Hof) in the morning since October (I will hopefully start a thread on this exploration). The new thing is I consistently lie down in meditation-relaxation (but still aware of body as space) as I go to sleep and wake up in early morning. I would say the meditative feel seems more pervasive in daily life.
I had a powerful experience last week that I wanted to write about.
I spent the first three days of the week with a light but pervasive vibrational feel to my experience of body associated with spectacular good mood during work hours as well as in meditation. On the night of day three I became aware of an event I really wished I could attend to on that very night... on the other side of the planet! I got moved by a deep longing connected to that place, all my friends there that I would not meet in a foreseeable future.
That same evening, I was really inspired by an interview of a lithuanian nun in Burma (https://insightmyanmar.org/complete-shows/2020/2/20/episode-3-sayalay-piyadassi, very good podcast by the way, many interesting interviews). What Sayalay Piyadassi shared about letting go to the point of not holding to anything brought me tears, as it rang so true to my ears... I traveled back in time to a younger me that lived with simplicity but still held to a fine thread (of money and security) that I was not ready to let go of. I felt that engagement of the whole being of the nun on the path, and that awed me. I remembered the complete fulfillment while dwelling high on the mountain, touching the sky with few possessions, few intentions... (I could feel she let go with all her being, and I could somehow bring this to awareness (in my being) as I try to share in the next paragraphs)...
I was also touched when she said that, when in Spain, she could see very clearly the qualities she had developed, and the ones where she still had more work to (un)do. It was so obvious at that moment that THIS is the way to liberation...the so-called fetters model, impossible, bigger than life, high up there!

Next morning, I received a text message from my dear baba friend (from that other side of the world) wishing me HAPPY SHIVARATRI in capital letters. A very special night these last years, filled with friends, magic and music... brought more longing in the morning. I breathed in it (along the lines of Jack Willis -Reichian Therapy, the technique, for home use- from a classic thread here, deep breathing on the verge of hyperventilation during a full hour, freestyle smiling stone style)... and that longing morphed in a complete letting go in the deepest recesses of my being, suffused with love and connection to my faraway friends. Distance was abolished in the blissful oscillation of the now. I was surprised by the intensity of the bliss and realized that the warm, encompassing, velvety vibration was the expression of the purity of my love (in that special moment). Well, I was high as a kite, and had all these insights about unconditional love and "we are one" (while breathing deeply remember). I came down quietly and decided to honor the day with meditation as I don't often think about the progress of insight, but I sure was somewhere interesting (the Apex, you know...). I thought 'maybe some breakthrough if I maintain the intensity'... I did not have any backlash during the next hours but I did not stay in these heights either. Quiet quiet sits...

I breathed again that way a few days later and saw clearly how it makes my mind race a bit (feeling really quickminded and insightful, wanting to write interesting stuff) but without losing balance or getting scattered, as it would have a few years back. If there is a hangover, it is a slight high...

It's really interesting how the mind works...

One week later, I am still impressed with the quality and the beauty of that moment, I think I got a new understanding of the power of metta, which I touched in a moment of deep letting go following very pure longing (the mind was not holding to anything, but still connecting, embracing, giving giving).


That's all for now
with metta
smiling stone

[More thoughts: it's not no-self, more a self experiencing oneness (with bliss). It was more intense than any cool meditative experience I remember, like a ten-fold bliss factor... easy in the merging... When they say 'metta can only take you to the first jhana' (because of the applied attention and the bliss), well, if this was it, I understand why people get hooked... but in this case, it seems you can only get hooked by giving and loving, the self completely directed outward...
To remain more and more in that state, that would be my idea of the holy life...Bringing this into daily life, every moment... I am not equating this with awakening as discussed here, because it relies on connection and intention. Note that if I was able to practice with dear ones, I could only imagine the breadth of mind necessary to produce this with enemies... still a long way to go toward universal love! Actually, I had a strong experience of metta with the ego turned completely outward serving on retreat a few years ago... but it's a long journey to translate that to normal life... Every moment new and unique is a good start, just where we are, as we are...]

[Edited for links, which were not taken into account on first publication]
George S, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 1611 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Beautiful experience Smiler ... Welcome Back! emoticon
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Smiling Stone, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 211 Join Date: 5/10/16 Recent Posts
Thanks George, good to be back... Although I felt it was important to let go of logging for a while (I got hooked by following my log last year), as language is so embeded within our mind that commenting on our experiences inclines them in certain directions. Very interesting sometimes... but not all the time!
George S, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 1611 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Yeah I know that feeling well! emoticon​​​​​​​
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Papa Che Dusko, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 1734 Join Date: 3/1/20 Recent Posts
Welcome back emoticon good to see you doing well! 
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Chris Marti, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 3875 Join Date: 1/26/13 Recent Posts
Hey, great to see you back!
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Smiling Stone, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 211 Join Date: 5/10/16 Recent Posts
Thank you, Pepe and Chris, for your warm welcome, it feels like homecoming...
Speaking of dhamma buddies, what about Linda and Tim? I understand they slowed down a bit on posting (which I find quite sane), but I hope they are doing well (I saw Linda is in full night shifts with diverse online retreats, so I guess she's fine)... and Olivier, on retreat as well?

much metta
smiler
Sam Gentile, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: smiling stone's log (2021)

Posts: 1059 Join Date: 5/4/20 Recent Posts
Welcome back! Glad to hear you're doing well and about ypur powerful experience

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